And now I admit, I have come to a bare impasse with you, for you’ve seen henceforth many the workings of my internals, and not the context of the outside world bored deeply into my tale.
Shall I tell you the shattered woeful events that had thus led me here, for they are not so unreal as you may suppose. But how shall I tell it? Perhaps in the way of madness, for the dreads take their toll first, and only upon the soul… unless to such a degree that death occurs; a Calvinist told me twas heresy to declare one could lose their salvation for, (said she) one cannot be ‘unborn.’
“Yea,” said I to her, “but though born, one can surely die.” And it seems the strength of her argument was within her terminology; a straw man is made and burned in the one statement for it surely is an absurd thing to declare one is ‘unborn’ but this is a nonsensical phrase, for none I know of ever declared it so. (And bear with me, a moment, for these things pertain both the furtherance of my narrative, as well as to the Truth of scripture which grows more and more pertinent as the day approaches.)
So to such as hold the myth of eternal security, I bid answer these:
- Was Saul anointed king of Israel – made into a new man (1 Sam 10:6), and yet rejected for the rebellion of his heart (1 Sam 15:22 & 23) so that in the end of his life, the Word of the Lord would not come to him (1 Sam 27:6)?
- Was Judas one of the twelve whom Christ commissioned to preach the Gospel, empowered to heal the sick, and cast out demons, and yet received damnation (for the Lord declared it had been better for him if he had not been born (Matt 26:24))?
- Were the natural seed of Abraham those called of God His firstborn, a chosen kingdom of priests, and yet the kingdom was taken away and given to a people who would bring forth the fruits thereof? (For that ‘All day long I have stretched out my hand to a disobedient and gainsaying people.’ (Rom 10:21); ‘Behold, your house is left unto you desolate. For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.’ (Matt 23:38-39))
So there are examples in scripture, and not merely plain statement scriptures such as John 16:6 – “If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them and cast them into the fire, and they are burned”, and
For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,
If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.
For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, receiveth blessing from God:
But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned.
Ah but bear with my pontificating, it shall be shortly over, and it pertains greatly to the measure of my tale.
Oh Calvinist! Reprobation is, indeed, the common state of man prior to their salvation, but one is not a True reprobate cast off by God until they have tasted the world to come and rejected it, and as surely as one can be born, one also can die; and as Adam and Eve were made they could not be uncreated – a bell cannot be un-rung – but behold, though the serpent could not un-make them, he could lead them unto death, and so they followed, and death is come upon all men.
And so it was, and is in the tale I tell you (a tale which is true though wrapped in form); for I lost one brother from this life by self-destruction. In such, I could not suppose his reward was attained, but the Spirit of the Holy revealed to me a revelation pertinent to me for my bond to him – that while suicide is the last sin one man may commit, it is not the sin unpardonable.
When Esau sold his birthright there was no pardon for sin though he sought it with tears… (Heb 12:17) for it was the sin unpardonable; to despise his inheritance as the seed of Abraham, having been born in the household of the people of God was blasphemy of the Holy Ghost. His birthright as Isaac’s firstborn equates to the new birth of salvation; Jacob knew well to desire it for himself but Esau sold it for the temporal satisfaction of his belly. (Does it not fit the description Paul made of those who are called ‘enemies of the cross of Christ’?
For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)
And so one did slay his own body, but had not despised the seed: that deposit which guarantees our salvation (Eph 1:13 & 14). But I did meet another in the way who killed not his body, but despised the seed; and so I have lost two loved ones – the one by sudden tragedy whom I will, nevertheless see again – the other with no sudden terror (though it would better, by far, than terror everlasting) for whom I know not whether repentance be even possible though he walks and breathes yet still.
In this far greater tragedy has the Lord given me some insight into Antichrist. There is a spirit in the earth – the spirit of the firstborn who has despised the seed of his heritage. Of that spirit, the Apostle declared:
They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us. (1 John 2:19)
But this latter growth, and evolution of the demonic came from the seed of Cain (as the Apostle declares: they ‘went out’ even yet as Cain ‘Went out from the presence of the Lord’ (Gen 4:16)), and of Esau and when we by our bad doctrine negate and dismiss understanding the seed (for one must surely lose their salvation to become True antichrists (and an antichrist is a fully developed reprobate)) we shall be blinded to the rise of that Beast from the Sea (which has already occurred in the earth – God have mercy). But I digress:
Fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. (Matt 10:28)
And so, my beloved, I end my pontificate with this (for the things of the Gospel are very much life and death reality, and though I write an allegory, let it not be taken for a fiction that the Truth of the Word and the reality of the Gospel be cast aside) – be not deceived, for we have a real enemy, and even now the Beast is growing in power for the final confrontation, and to our shame the church not merely unaware, but helping to foment its growth (now even in practice because of her bad doctrine – ‘My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.’ (Hos 4:6; 2 Thess. 2:10)).
Well that was heavy. Have I lost you?
Yet now you have some assistance in understanding some of the furtherance of my tale – perhaps the prequel (albeit I’ve not been concerned with chronology) of what I have written heretofore; which I pray will assist and edify your own pilgrimage, rather than lull you to entertainment’s slumber:
Recovering Lost Powers
The hoses were broken loose, and the central core of power whirred loudly, yet to little effect. Surely the device was designed for great output but now vines grew up and around every crevice and port. Small scurrying rodents had made nests wherever they could find them places. Heaven only could tell what small cords, and nodes they had chewed their way through.
Yes, decay had set in on the old piece of equipment on top of the initially fatal damage which had taken the vessel offline.
And there was I, adrift in space upon this heap. As badly the worse for wear as the ship itself, I had remained here, by myself in a merely semi-conscious state for some 7 dreadful years. The blood of my wounds had crusted over my eyelids, sealing them shut and dry. A sharp blade had pierced through my heart near the back from beneath, but I had been facing the assailant head on when the wound occurred. He had been so near to me. The blade had come through the front of me – this, I am sure is what had left me so near dead.
The Power was present all along – even as I drifted weightless in space – to give substance to my wounded soul. Yea, for I had obtained the Seed of Truth; having been buried in baptism it grew until I was a green olive tree in the house of the Lord. And seeking to satisfy the Lord of the harvest, did set myself to training as a pilot, for in my zeal I set my heart to put my hand to the plough and never look back. My greatest desire from birth – that heavenly birth attained in the realm of Truth – was to be a message bearing astronaut in the fleet of the life-giving Sun.
Oh but from early I looked beyond the institutions of man’s training – surely, I did avail myself to them (such as were good) yet I sought expressly the training of the Master Pilot – that he would make me His own acolyte as He promised even in the tech manual, which Himself had also authored.
Slowly the scabs covering my eyes were cracking away, I could now see the blurry form of the vessel’s interior faintly, though only the Power knew what damage my eyes, themselves, had taken. Seven years unable to see… that may have been worse than the loneliness.
You doubtless wonder what had happened. Truth is that it is too painful to tell in full. This I will say, however: I was traveling to the planet called Jericho when thieves came upon me, and here they left me, bleeding and dying on the Jericho road.
Transmissions still did faintly come through the communications system, staticky and broken. Early in the season of this wound did a vessel pass by, the name whereof was the ‘Kirche;’ ever hopeful of help was I, when I heard her transmission. The Kirche is an enormous vessel in the Kingdom fleet; its job is to bind up the broken-hearted, to bring healing to the broken, and recovering of sight to the blind. Yet seeing my state, and what had brought me there, the vessel administrators thought surely I had brought this upon myself, and were unable to see any justification to give me assistance. They had not the theology to align themselves with my spacial attitude. The Kirche with its many passengers, administrators and pilots passed me by – and there I remained adrift – that deep wound, underside of my heart seared.
Along about a short while later came another vessel, this called the Kin. Surely the Kin would help, her duty was ever to nourish, and cherish her members of which I was one. The Kin, was troubled in mind about me, however, for though I was a member of it I was also a member both of the Kirche, as well as the Kingdom itself. Those of the Kin were all of the same – yet they could not fathom my dutifulness to the Kingdom for I held it as above that of Kirche, and Kin. Indeed it was on the direct orders of the Kingdom, in my line of duty thereto that I had sustained these wounds. For this mission I had been fitted as a battleship in order to destroy from our midst a festering agent of destruction.
The Kin, like the Kirche could not understand the kingdom directive, which supersedes all other directives. The Kirche had not taken cause for mine help, how then, could they? Instead these believed me to be the thief, as I appeared not to submit to the higher ranks of they, nor the Kirche, but behaved as aggressive as necessary for the mission given by the Kingdom. Did I not know that the Kingdom was for peace? How, then, could I do aggressively to cut off even an element of destruction?
And the Kin did pass me by.
There I stayed, adrift as it were, in space with none to help me. Had I done well? Had I done right in completing the mission assigned me, aggressive though it may be? Only my wounds, and rejection said no. The Kingdom Orders remained, the inner witness, the spirit of prophecy, and the tech manual all continued to testify that I had done well. I had done as directed, and found that the fleet was far removed from the Kingdom it feigned to serve. They had their manuals, they had their exercises, and maneuvers, they had a general directive toward which they stumblingly strove to advance, but by and large they had lost the heart of the Kingdom. They had no specific orders, no particular mission (well… at least none they were aware of), indeed, in many ways they were as they had left me though without such obvious wounds.
Do not weep for me, my story is not over yet. Though bleak at this measure a reward waits those who fulfill their mission no matter the cost.
And so it was after seven long years (forty cycles) that a third vessel came. This was the True Kingdom vessel, though it was invisible. It was called, in this case, Samaritan (though it has many other names, and is not one vessel but three (and seven all simultaneously – consider this not too deeply with your mind for it is a mystery, and beyond the limitations of our dimension)). Is the Samaritan a vessel at all? He is the Power, the life force of all, and He goes when and where He pleases with not the bounds of time or space. And even as He passes, if you be able to distinguish Him, you cannot discern whence he cometh, neither distinguish whitherto His passage will take Him.
Yet this Great Being was, indeed, a vessel one day – and in this case His name was Samaritan. This vessel, being pan-dimensional, inter-laid Himself with mine own. Bear in mind that this is a being beyond our dimension, and not to be harmed with the wounds of a body, yet nevertheless when He merged with my vessel – when He merged with my very self my wounds became His (if you can imagine such a thing!). This blending even took the properties of the Beings limitlessness, for when my wounds were His own, it was as though they had always been!
These wounds were not now removed, but they now were shared – and always had been.
Now am I not alone… and never have been, not since the time I received the Seed. And the memory of the Samaritan began to revive. I have known Him, and O what WONDERS! Many things supernatural were done always by Him, and when He is you, you are empowered to be like Him! There are worlds of wonder in Him… what memories! Some mine own, and others eternal, universal. Mine own were, of course, the most vivid – though not the most real. Yes this was the Kingdom, Himself, and ’twas in His service I had sustained such lot.
Now do I see Him rejected, and scorned of all – even those of His own fleet know Him not for they have forsaken His being for their manuals, their exercises, and their maneuvers. Many think that these ARE He, and others like one, all, or each of these better than the vastness of Him, for Truly He is a terrifying wonder! Truth be told, though the manuals speak of Him, their technical language holds them oft at bay from the Real organic person. Exposed to the real thing, invisible raw Power, they are made aware of Holiness, which makes them despise themselves, therefore they scorn His presence, and desire He never come to them but only at their bidding. This, then, is how they use the manuals, exercises and maneuvers: in such a way as they feel they’ve met their duty, but not as heartily longing for the Kingdom in its unutterably unpredictable Power.
Thus the Samaritan is despised of all, and set alone. Who will go with Him to the cross? Who will follow the Lamb, Truly, whithersoever He goeth? I am insufficient for these things… yet here adrift and wounded, dizzy from years of weightlessness, He knew me all too well. I suppose that even if He did not know all things, He still would know me. We two were of the same vessel; the insults of those who insulted Him had fallen upon me, and here was I, nearly destroyed by what He endureth day upon day without end in this world. And the insults of those who insulted me have fallen on Him. Yes, He, the Great Empath had taken all of my sorrows along with His unfathomable own.
[Thanks for reading – if you’ve enjoyed, I have been writing a series of Allegory, which I plan to (once finished) edit and compile into a book, these allegories begin here]